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In what is surely one of the signs of the apocalypse, The Wood Whisperer is now selling T-shirts that mash together my likeness with the most memorable line from the forgettable 1987 movie “Spaceballs.”
The T-shirt features a highly posterized image of my face (with beard, for those of you playing our home game) and the words: “May ‘The Schwarz’ Be With You.” Sadly, this “Spaceballs” catchphrase is the most famous thing that any Schwarz (or Schwartz) has ever done.
Marc Spagnuolo (The Wood Whisperer) and his cohorts have come to call me “The Schwarz” , like other one-name celebs such as Cher or Madonna. This T-shirt is the result.
It’s available for $15 from The Wood Whisperer on a shirt that is chestnut in color. And before anyone asks, I’m not getting a dime from these T-shirts (it all goes to Marc and Nicole); and yes, he had my permission.
Marc did send me a few of the shirts, which we’ll attempt to give away here on the blog shortly with a ridiculous contest. Or, if we don’t have any takers, maybe I’ll make one into my own personal Woobie.
– Christopher Schwarz
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Bought one, wearing as I type this. Think I’ll wear it while filming my podcast tomorrow too!
Shannon
Along the lines of this post…if anyone here is a sci-fi geek like me…have you noticed the uncanny resemblance of Chris to Dr. Gaius Baltar on the new "Battlestar Galactica?" Actor’s name is James Callis. Just a question.
Oh…and those are great lines Glenn…absolute classics. I prefer this exchange from the all-time classic "Young Frankenstein"
Froderick Frankenstein: "Igor, won’t you help with the bags."
Igor: "Sure, you take the blonde, I’ll take the one in the turban."
+1 for Fred’s idea of a WAS edition. I’d certainly buy my wife one.
You know you are becoming a celebrity when somebody sells t-shirts with your name and picture in them!
The obvious sequel is a "Wives against Schwarz" tea shirt, complete with a red circle and a line through it. The net proceeds can be donated to the wood working hall of fame.
Dave,
Well my wife took one to sleep in, which I take as a good sign.
The kids couldn’t imagine why anyone would
1. Do such a thing, or
2. Buy such a thing.
Chris
Hi Chris,
What you didn’t mention, and I think would be interesting to hear, is the reaction of the wife and daughters. You did let them know didn’t you? How much flak have you received so far? Inquiring minds want to know. Heh, heh, heh!!
Best regards,
Dave Anderson
Chester, NH
Ah Chris :
one more comment. I plan to wear this T Chestnut coloured shirt during the Holtzapffel workbench build.
Reason is that Chestnut blends nicely with almost all colour of sawdust and wiping varnish. Marc must have had an unconscious revelation when that colour was picked.
He should come up with a red one for beginning woodworkers, as that hides the colour of blood stains.
Regards
Tim TAN
Chris :
Marc in sending me one as we speak – Chestnut XXL (and I am an XL at worst .. or best).
I won the drawing at Marc’s live show last night for a hardbound edition of your magazine. I already have that. Then he offered me a guild membership on his site. I already have that.
I shamelessly asked for a Festool router, but he would not budge. So my last resort was a Schwarz T shirt. You came in a very close 4th, I assure you 🙂 Chestnut is close to a bronze, don’t you think?
Anyway, am planning a Holtzapffel build this month. Bought your workbenches DVD and I have to say you got me obsessed about building one. Now I’ve got to go buy a copy of that issue. Now I understand the Wives against Schwarz movement.
And by the way, I subscribe to your magazine as well.
Regards
Tim TAN
I can’t believe you actually blogged about this Chris. I thought you might just politely try to ignore this like when you see a couple fighting at a party and everyone pretends its not actually happening, lol.
Its all in good fun though. For those who ask, "WHY?!?!", I confidently reply, "I dunno…."
By the way, the shirts are a limited run and we picked one color for the sake of simplicity. And from the sale of our other shirts, we found that white is not a favorite color amongst woodworkers. Apparently we are a messy bunch. But we could only get the chestnut shirts up to XXL. So we actually do have these shirts in white, but only in 3XL and 4XL sizes.
This may be the only shirt that I wear for the remainder of my life. Very cool. I’m going to have ask Marc if he can have some made up on a white or gray shirt. Chestnut does not quite work with my completion. I’m guessing they went with Chestnut to further underline the statement that while wearing this shirt you have a nut on your chest? I mean that in the best of ways Chris… You are a woodworking nut!
And after you pointed it out, I can see a little Richard Belzer. But it’s a great likeness… good stuff!
-Charles
Along with lasers on woodworking tools, this has to
one of the worst ideas ever. You can always claim the
likeness is in fact Richard Belzer. :->
Chris
I couldn’t stay away. I seem to have spent way too much of my formative years watching this movie, along with Spies Like Us. In that vein, some of the other memorable quotes which stick in my mind (this is approximate, I haven’t looked up the exact quotes):
"And you are?
A Major, sir, Major A**hole.
I’m surrounded by A**holes!"
"We’ve been jammed, sir.
(Tasting it) Raspberry! There’s only one person in the galaxy that would dare give me the raspberry – Lone Star!"
And my favorite, edited for relevance:
"(Princess Druella Doll) I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! And yet, I am strangely attracted to you.
(Dark Helmet Doll) Of course you are. All Druish woodworkers are attracted to money and power and I have both and you know it."
Like I said, way too much of my formative years.
Cool shirt.
That’s freakin’ awesome!